You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
A bitchslap is in order.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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