I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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