home. puking in laundry basket.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
