Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
