He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
