We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
