if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
