im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
