One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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