thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
