so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
