When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
