i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
