Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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