So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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