whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize