how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize