no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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