Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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