you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
