Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
