We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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