YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Text me some of your sweat
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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