PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
