im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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