we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
