hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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