My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
