she was so not down for the gang bang
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
