like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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