Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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