we have officially lost it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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