It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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