sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
