You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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