i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
