Screwed.edu
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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