Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
