If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
