He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize