when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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