do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
