): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
