omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
