God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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