Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have tasted many bathrooms
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
