the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
