Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
