well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize