dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
