Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
