just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
