Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
