The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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