What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
