I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
True college students do jello shots in the library
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
