My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
