if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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