The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
