You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
