I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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