what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize