sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
