The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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