maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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