Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
