It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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