I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
