just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
